I am engaged and my fiancee has 3 children. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year, and been engaged for about 4 months. I consider myself the kid’s step-dad. About 3 weeks ago I walked upstairs to find the oldest daughter (14) “fooling around” with her boyfriend. I had no idea what to say or do. Her mom broke it up. I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk to her about what she was doing. She’s way too young to have a boyfriend, let alone doing what they were doing. I want her to be comfortable enough to come to me for anything. Do I approach her about it? Do I let it go and trust that she will make a better decision in the future? What would I say? It’s a lot tougher being a step-dad than I thought.
Honestly, I know your intent is good but you should let her mom handle this and just act like nothing happened this time. Meanwhile, you can try to make efforts to connect with your stepkids and give them time to accept you as the role of their “Father”.
